SMASHing: When the Bad Gets Boring

I have to admit, I’m in an extra sassy mood today because I’m recovering from wisdom teeth removal surgery (something everyone has gone through and been like “oh yeah, it’s no big deal, whatever” but because I’m a BIG BABY I’m still in pain and suffering and trying to get as much attention as I can), so I’m less forgiving on Smash’s sins. No more pre-amble, let’s get to it, strike a pose there’s nothing to it- Smash. 

The Worst

  • I actually don’t mind “bad” television. I can watch hours of Real Housewives and be happy as a clam. I can, and HAVE watched Celebrity Apprentice from start to finish. But you know what’s worse than bad TV? Boring TV. If there’s nothing for me to even mock, why are you trying? This was definitely the dullest episode of Smash so far. Plot? Missing. Storylines? Tiring. Musical numbers(the show’s usual saving grace)? Dull. This was definitely a real low point. So overall, this episode was the worst. 
  • I like Uma Thurman and all, but… DO I? When you think about it, don’t you find that without her Miyagi of Quentin Tarantino she’s kind of … bland? Think about how much you like Uma, and then subtract all of her QT movies. Still a fan? Really? OKAY I am, but only barely because of The Truth About Cats and Dogs. 
  • Debra Messing’s son is failing calculus and AMERICAN HISTORY? Uhhhh I really didn’t need another reason to despise this kid. 
  • Why am I writing about the director’s pervy fever dream TWO WEEKS IN A ROW? It’s stale, Smash! The song sucked and it was boring! Karen has the sexual appeal of Bo Jangles.
  • Okay, that moment when Dev is out at the bar with Reporter when Karen was looking for him had to be the least sexy, least dramatic, least exciting reveal to ever take place. Dev and Reporter are somehow two actors so void of chemistry or charisma or of ANYTHING INTERESTING that I genuinely felt my jaw tense when they had their philandering. Also of note: that scene took place in the same bar/resto wherein Carey Mulligan performer her little ditty in Shame. The contrast in quality between the two productions that have taken place there is embarrassing. That restaurant should now be burned to the ground. 
  • Casual Friday 2 looked like another FLOP for Uma

The Okay

  • I like when Ivy and Karen have friendship moments. It’s so much more interesting than them just hating each other or whispering bitchy putdowns about each other to their shared gaggle of chorus friends
  • Anjelica Huston deserves happiness, so sure, her bartender boyfriend is okay. 

I mean, I can’t even bring myself to talk about Christian Borle’s self-discovery or Karen’s marriage or Ellis’s anything. It was all so tedious. Amp up the bad, SMASH! Give me something to SING about!