My Brain Melts When I Listen To One Direction

ONE DIRECTION:
You're insecure / Don't know what for / You're turning heads when you walk through the door

ALEX:
*GASP* How did you know I was insecure?

ONE DIRECTION:
Don't need make-up/ To cover up/ Being the way that you are is enough

ALEX:
(Tucks Hair Behind Ear) ....Really? 'Cause I just bought this new Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer and I think the coverage is really --

ONE DIRECTION:
Everyone else in the room can see it / Everyone else but you

ALEX:
What? Other people are looking at me? Keep talking, Sugar Lips.

ONE DIRECTION:
Baby you light up my world like nobody else / The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed / But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell/ You don't know, Oh oh / You don't know you're beautiful /

ALEX:
1) You noticed that thing I did with my hair earlier? and 2) Full disclosure, I learned that eye trick from "Memoirs of a Geisha."

ONE DIRECTION:
If only you saw what I can see / You'll understand why I want you so desperately / Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe / You don't know, Oh oh /

ALEX:
We can never be together!!! I am an independent woman and you are a wolfpack of impeccably styled babies!!!

ONE DIRECTION:
You don't know you're beautiful, Oh oh / That's what makes you beautiful

ALEX:
&@^#TB&P*&TDF^(&WR&#^@#^*!!*@&*~%

SRSLY THROWBACK: Rider Strong  Forget Corey and Eric Matthews, everyone knows the cutest guy on TGIF was Shawn Hunter! Sure he may have lived in a trailer park, been prone to clinical depression, but I mean…..look at those eyes. That smile. That oversized biker jacket. When I think about it,  I think Rider Strong is probably the reason I have a weakness for boys with a penchant for making mischief and extremely tactile hair.  If you’re wondering what he’s doing now, you can read this article, but if, like me, you just want to pretend he owns a nice farm to table restaurant in Venice Beach and lives off BMW residuals, you can do that too. Suit yourself!

SRSLY THROWBACK:

Rider Strong 

Forget Corey and Eric Matthews, everyone knows the cutest guy on TGIF was Shawn Hunter! Sure he may have lived in a trailer park, been prone to clinical depression, but I mean…..look at those eyes. That smile. That oversized biker jacket.

When I think about it,  I think Rider Strong is probably the reason I have a weakness for boys with a penchant for making mischief and extremely tactile hair. 

If you’re wondering what he’s doing now, you can read this article, but if, like me, you just want to pretend he owns a nice farm to table restaurant in Venice Beach and lives off BMW residuals, you can do that too. Suit yourself!

THURSDAY CRUSH (ON FRIDAY): Alan Rickman

I (Alex) am not shy about the fact that most of my celebrity crushes qualify for the senior discount at AMC. Today: ALAN RICKMAN. I just saw him on Broadway in “Seminar,” which has a lot of grade-A acting in it, but also a lot of 24 year old girls boning down with Snape. Needless to say I was tres jealouse.He’s just the best because he’s known for playing baddies, but he’s got leading man chops. That scene in Sense & Sensibility when Colonel Brandon is falling in love with Marianne while she plays the piano? ZOMGGG. Not to mention his voice!! dsjkhf49p375y93!! OK GTG IM SHORT CIRCUITING. BYEE.

THANKSGIVING THURSDAY CRUSH: Chris Pratt

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE. Today’s crush will be brief, but no less meaningful. After careful consideration, we have chosen Chris Pratt as the next gentleman to join the Thursday crush ranks. Why? Because. Chris is that guy who’s wins class clown AND class president. Charming, mischeivous, with a high cuddleability factor. He brings the LOLs every THURSDAY on “Parks and Rec,” and he is mad good at guitar, which let’s face it, IS ALWAYS A PLUS. Anna Faris is a lucky lady. We woof you, Chris!

THURSDAY CRUSH: Jeffrey Garten

You know what they say, behind every great woman is a nice Jew in a sweater vest. Well, maybe they don’t say that, but in the case of Ina and Jeffrey Garten, it’s true. Ina really won the husband lottery with Jefferoo. Why? Well, he probably always offers to do the dishes (see above), he’s really good on camera, and he probably laughs at all of her scripted jokes about keeping butter cold or making breakfast baskets. On top of all that - he’s smart as hell! Did you know he used to be Dean of the Yale* School of Management? In conclusion, J.G. is a cutie patootie and we’d let him go snooping for homemade ice cream in our Sub-Zero freezer drawer anytime. 

*Note: Yale is SRSLY’s favorite Ivy League school, because we like their sweaters.

*Sorry for posting this on a Friday. Shabbat Shalom, Jeffrey. 

THURSDAY CRUSH

Alex and I rarely see eye to eye on men. I tend to go for males who look like they’ve been kept in a basement, starved of food, water, sunlight, and affection. Alex like guys who look like they can be president. Okay, Alex is exclusively attracted to Michael Douglas in The American President. 

THE POINT IS, we’re different! But there is one man we have a mutual love for, and that is Eugene Mirman. 

We both have Eugene’s book, The Will to Whatevs, and we live and die by his advice. 

Here is my favorite part:

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